Tomorrow will be new, and though similar, it will not be today or yesterday.
I have come to hold a new perspective on life, that has brought meaning to what I fear may be meaningless. Though the Nihlist in me believes this life, this world, everything is meaningless, pointless, and the like, I have still managed to find meaning and purpose for life.
There is little in this life that we know for sure. Often, when discussing the nature of faith, it is mentioned that to some extent we take everything on faith. Not just God, mythology or superstitions, but everything. We find it hard to fully accept that everything is what we say it is and how we say it is, and we take most everything on faith more than on knowledge. For example, I don't necessarily know there are elephants in Africa, because I have not been to Africa, nor seen the elephants that I've been told are there. The reality is that I've been told they're there, so I am taking the fact that elephants are in African on an element of faith. That is, I have faith in what I've been told.
I have discovered, for want of a better word, that there is one thing I know. There is one thing that I do not have to take on faith. There is one thing that I am guaranteed. One fact is the necessary element that gives meaning to my life, this life, anyone's life and existence: This is the ONE life we know we're getting.
I don't know that I'll get an afterlife, and as I've expressed here before, I don't really want an afterlife. I don't know that I'll be reincarnated. I don't know that I'll come back as an apparition and haunt the Earth, only to be bothered by ghost hunters and "mediums."
What do I know? I know that I am here now (although some might even wish to debate that). I know that this is what is happening, and I know that I am getting only so many birthdays, holidays, New Years. I know I am getting only so many wedding anniversaries with my husband. Only so many years in my 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. I know that I've got this life. At least I've got this one life.
This approach has given more meaning to my life than religion and, yes, even love has done. Acknowledging that while it has it's most depressing moments, this life won't happen again that I know of. I only know it's going to happen now, whether I work with it or against it, bitch about it or am grateful. This is the one time I get to be married to my husband, to be what I want to be, see what I want to see, learn what I want to learn, and do what I want to do. I don't know that I won't get another chance to try again at something or have another life on Earth or some where else. I don't know that this is the only one I'm getting. I just know it's the only one I know I'm getting.
Maybe it is meaningless. Maybe there's no reason to be here, there's no reason to love or cry or wish or pray or sleep or dream. This life may be as meaningful to the universe as an ant hill in the Amazon is to me at this point in time, but in the end, it's the only one I know I'm getting. Sounds pretty meaningful. As if Michaelangelo only painted once in his lifetime, or Mark Twain only wrote once and never again. This is my once in a life time, this life. This is the one I've got, and I'm going to do with it as it deserves: Live to the fullest of my ability, because as far as I know I've only got one life to live.
